


Don't you let it kill you even when it hurts like hell, oh whatever tears you apart, don't let it break your heart

by SilverShadow1



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Justin Foley, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by 13 Reasons Why (TV), Justin Foley Needs a Hug, Justin and Charlie friendship, Male Friendship, Supportive Charlie St. George, liberty high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShadow1/pseuds/SilverShadow1
Summary: “I hope you won’t kick my ass for saying so, Justin, but you’re still a kid. It’s not your responsibility to take care of her.”ORJustin loses his mother and finds himself talking to the only other person who he knows also lost his mother - Charlie.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 54





	Don't you let it kill you even when it hurts like hell, oh whatever tears you apart, don't let it break your heart

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just a writing machine these days! Ever since I finished re-watching the show, I haven't wanted to watch much of anything else. I hope you enjoy this different sort of story!
> 
> Title: "Don't Let It Break Your Heart" by Louis Tomlinson
> 
> For clarity, this takes place during S4E7 (after Charlie tells Alex that the latter is breaking his heart).

It was 3:30 p.m. The end of the fucking day.

Though, if he was honest, the day stopped the moment Deputy Standall took him out of his class to tell him …

Justin angrily shook his head. Things were shit. They would always stay shit. He barely remembered his college admission interview earlier, but he knew he fucked that up like everything else. When the interviewer mentioned his mom in the present tense … it set something off in him and everything spiraled from there.

Fortitude, his ass.

He knew he couldn’t tell Clay - he was dealing with his own shit. Part of him knew he could tell Jess, but she spent most of her time with Diego and he’s the last person Justin wanted to think about. If anything, he knew he had to tell the Jensens, so-

_ Crash _ !

“Hey, watching where you’re fucking - oh, St. George,” said Justin, blinking several times. “Shit, sorry man. Are … you okay?”

As he looked closer, he could see Charlie’s eyes were clearly red rimmed and puffy. Like he was crying not long ago. He was coming in through the main doors, so Justin wasn’t sure where he’d come from, but he must’ve driven because he still held his car keys in his hand.

“Hey Justin,” said Charlie, not answering his question. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“Seriously, man. What’s up?” asked Justin, concerned. Finally, something to focus on other than his own problems. “Are you hurt? Is someone else in trouble?”

“It’s nothing. Nothing like that,” said Charlie, quickly. “I should get going - Coach gets mad when we’re late for weight training and I’ve already ditched twice this month -”

“Fuck Coach. Come on.”

Justin grabbed the junior by the elbow and steered him into an empty classroom across the hall. Although Charlie put up no resistance, the second Justin turned around after closing the door he could see the other boy was uncomfortable. His stance was all too familiar - arms crossed over his chest defensively and gaze anywhere but the older boy.

“Talk to me, St. George. I didn’t even see you cry when you dislocated your shoulder your freshman year.”

“Fuck, that hurt,” mumbled Charlie, and Justin’s lip twitched. “I don’t know how to talk about this …” Justin waited patiently for him to continue. Finally, Charlie exhaled.

“There’s this … person that I like,” said Charlie, anxiously. Justin felt himself perk up at that. “Jesus, don’t get too excited. They don’t like me like that.”

“Why the fuck not? You’re hot, man.” Charlie choked out a laugh and Justin grinned at that. “Plus, you’re all sorts of confident. Isn’t that supposed to be a turn-on or some shit?”

The smile faded from Charlie’s face as quickly as it came.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, quietly. “This person, though - they’re kind of the opposite? They’re the first one to admit that they’re not confident, and I get it. Not everyone is, but they also don’t think they deserve me and it like, couldn’t be less true.”

Justin hummed in contemplation. He was fairly certain that Charlie wasn’t straight based on past observation and generic pronoun usage, but he didn’t want to pressure him. Not unless he felt comfortable sharing it with him or anyone else.

“Is this person … hyper-aware about other people’s thoughts?” asked Justin, tiptoeing around saying what was on his mind. Charlie’s head tilted to the side and Justin was amazed how he managed to look like a puppy. “Like, are they still trying to figure things out about themselves first before they get involved with someone else?”

Recognition dawned on Charlie’s face and he flushed slightly, turning away.

“I’m sorry, man, I’m not -” Justin began, but Charlie shook his head.

“Don’t apologize,” said Charlie. “I don’t think it’s really any big illusion that I’m … not straight. I’m not really sure what I am, or …”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” said Justin, shaking his head. “I get it. Maybe not that, but the whole labels thing? It’s shit, and it’s for like, files. Not for people.”

Charlie smiled again and nodded without saying anything.

“So … it’s a guy you’re interested in, then?” Charlie nodded. “I’m pretty sure that the ‘rules’ are universal, man. Give him some time, yeah? If he’s gone through as much shit as the rest of us, it’s hard to blame him for not jumping into anything. Don’t let it break your heart.”

“Thanks, Justin,” said Charlie, offering a small smile. “Now it’s your turn.”

“W-What?” Charlie shook his head.

“Something happened, I can see it in your eyes. You give a shit about us, but you’re also a problem-solver when you’re avoiding something.” Justin scoffed. “Maybe I can help and … return the favor.”

Justin was silent for a beat. He knew that Charlie’s mother passed when the boy was in middle school. During training in June, he would miss it on the anniversary of her passing and he told them all surprisingly easily when they asked why he wasn’t there for the previous session. He knew that he could talk to Charlie and of anyone, he would understand.

“It’s …” he began. He crossed his arms and breathed deeply as he looked out the window. “It’s my mom. She’s gone.” He tightened his jaw. “She died.”

Charlie’s face immediately fell.

“Shit, Justin. I’m - I’m so sorry.” Justin nodded. “How …”

“OD. They think.” He gruffly exhaled. “ _ I _ know. They found her down by the pier.”

“I’m not even sure why I’m so … this,” he said, suddenly, waving non-descriptively at himself. “I knew what she was - we were the same. As much as she said that she never wanted this life for me, she never changed. No one gave enough of a shit to help her get better. I certainly didn’t.”

“I hope you won’t kick my ass for saying so, Justin, but you’re still a kid,” said Charlie. “It’s not your responsibility to take care of her.”

“I gave her some money,” said Justin, absentmindedly. “Before I almost left again, I gave her money and told her to get the fuck away from her piece of shit boyfriend, Seth. I thought that when she disappeared … maybe it had worked. Then she came back and it …” He trailed off. “It’s obvious I didn’t do enough.”

“You loved her - it wouldn’t hurt like hell if you didn’t - but there’s only so much a kid can do,” said Charlie. “I learned that lesson, too.”

“How did you … deal? With it all?”

“I baked,” snorted Charlie. “First it started as a way to try and make her feel better during the treatment. Then it became a necessity - some sort of purpose, I guess. Like survival. Now … maybe it’s still sort of for survival, but I also just love it. Part of me feels closer to her when I bake because even though it reminds me of the sad times, it also reminds me of the great times we spent together.”

“I don’t have many of those,” muttered Justin.

“And that’s not your fault,” said Charlie, and Justin looked at him. “You have to remember that. It’s not your fault, Justin, I promise you. The Jensens so clearly adore you and while it won’t erase all the other shit, it also doesn’t make it any less true that you do have family.”

Justin blinked several times, looking away again and willing himself not to get teary. He sniffed.

“T-Thanks, man.”

“I … I’d really like to hug you, but I’m not sure about your stance on hugs.”

Justin let out a choked laugh, feeling his eyes sting.

“Go ahead.”

And it felt nice. It felt nice to have a friend hug him like that. It’s a while since he felt so cared about in that way. When all of the shit around them was pressing down, it was hard for any of them to comfort each other because they were so focused on reacting and staying five steps ahead. Basically, there wasn’t much room for personalized attention or support, and he didn’t realize how much he needed it until that specific moment.

“You’re like, a really good hugger,” said Justin, with a teasing lilt. “The full package.”

Charlie chuckled.

“Noted,” the quarterback said. When they finally separated, he added, “I’m always here to talk, man. You know that, right? Day or night.”

Justin nodded, smiling slightly at him.

“Yeah. Same here. Always. Go on before Kerba reams your ass.”

Charlie patted him on the shoulder and with a smile, left the room at a jog. Justin exhaled.

Whomever Charlie ended up with would sure be lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated. Nothing like the extra dose of serotonin that comes when I see a number in my inbox. Feel free to submit story prompts for consideration!


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